Thursday, April 12, 2007

Why New Computers Suck

Okay, I can't really blame the computer, but I'm going to anyway. I was merrily writing a new post about the 2007 Summer movie season, when I hit some buttons on my new (and unfamiliar) keyboard and managed to delete the whole post. *Bangs head on desk* Why do I do these things? Why? Anyway, it's still early. So I'll redo the list, with links (because that's the kind of girl I am) for all of you, and you can tell me what you are looking forward to and what you think will be a colossal waste of time. May 4: Spider-Man 3 May 18: Shrek the Third May 25: Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End June 8: Ocean's Thirteen June 15: Fantastic Four and the Silver Surfer June 22: Evan Almighty June 29: Live Free or Die Hard, Ratatouille, Martian Child July 4: Transformers July 13: Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix July 27: The Simpsons Movie August 3: The Bourne Ultimatum I saved this at least 3 times while I was rewriting it. Obviously I'm looking forward to Spiderman 3, but Shrek and Ratatouille get high marks because I can take my kids to see them. I might actually be tempted to see the new Fantastic 4, but that will depend a lot on the reviews. And maybe I'm a geek (you don't have to tell me that though...) but I do like the Harry Potter movies. So, at least there will be something to watch this Summer. I swear, there hasn't been anything worth watching since Casino Royale, so it's about time the studio's released something. Yeah, about &^%$ time. Okay, I'm a tad touchy because I had to rewrite this post. But you get the idea...


Fab said...

- I recently saw the trailer for Pirates 3 on tv, and that was a nice piece of work already: so I definitely look forward to that one.
- Fantastic Four: just curious where they will take the story (and Ioan Gruffudd!! who I liked as Captain Hornblower).
- Ratatouille & Shrek: because animation is fun!
- Finally: Harry Potter and Bourne have my intrest.

The rest: I'm a bit doubtful. I fear disappointment.

mist1 said...

I'm pretty excited for this summer's line up. Specifically:


Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

Boy you just had to include your love for Bond, didn't you? ;-)

Anyway, I am looking forward to Shrek 3 and I can take my daughter to it.

I really want to see Spiderman and Transformers, but I don't know if we'll actually see it in theaters. Maybe I can take Kiera to see them. Is it OK to take a 5-year-old to see Spiderman?

deslily said...

Harry, Harry, Harry! Oh yeah, I love those movies and love that they contain Maggie Smith and Alan Rickman too! lol.. and the final book will be out in July along with the movie!

July is going to be a good month!

Crunchy Carpets said...

If I can see something IN the movie theatre, I will be happy.

Also looking forward to Martian Child...based on a story (true-ish) by David Gerrold.

SQT said...

I haven't heard of Martian Child, I will have to look for the link to that and add it if I find it.

And I totally agree, any movie I can see in the theatre would be great; which is why I am so pleased they're releasing cartoons this year.

Oh and Jon, I just had to work in Bond somehow...

ufr said...

I'm with DesliLy on the whole Harry Potter thing. July CANNOT get her soon enough!

I'm also looking forward to Shrek 3. Hope it's as good as the 2nd movie.

Alex said...

So, what you're saying is Shrek and Evan Almighty are the only palatable films scheduled for release this summer?


Sarah said...

Pirates and Potter are on my list.

(I am currently on our new computer with Vista, because my 4 year old laptop's been overheating, and getting rapidly annoyed by it.)

Jean-Luc Picard said...

I can feel the anger in the lines.

Kate S said...

Spidey, Pirates and Harry. I'll watch Shrek and the Simpsons when they come out on video.

Like Deslily, I love Alan Rickman and Maggie Smith and can't wait for Harry the movie, and Harry the book. Although the fact that this is the LAST book depresses me.

Alex said...

How come so many seemingly intelligent people get sucked into the Butt-Pirates of the Caribbean franchise? The films are insulting to anyone with half a brain.

Fab said...

Please elaborate.

It's just entertainment. Not like 'An inconvenient truth'.

cooltopten said...

I,m really looking foreward to spider man 3 , transformers movie, and harry potter.Think the summers gonna be great for sci -fi fantasy fans , also like the look of new movie sunshine.

SQT said...


Weren't you the one who said if you could turn off your brain long enough, you could enjoy Eragon? Why doesn't the same apply to Pirates?

Rig said...

Spiderman 3

Hollywood is making too many sequels nobody is asking for as well as some lame movies. I wasn't that impressed with the last Pirates, Harry Potter has never been an interest, Shrek was good the first time but is over, Simpsons might suck but as a fan I must see it. Anyone, just my thoughts. Many may disagree.

Empress Bee (of the High Sea) said...

i know about losing the post before it publishes... grrr. sorry it happened to you though sqt.

smiles, bee

SQT said...


There's nothing that says you have to like any of the movies coming out. Mostly it's just something to talk about.

Hollywood likes sequels though. Spiderman has performed well at the box office and I expect they'll keep making as many known money makers as they can.

Thanks for stopping by.

Hi Bee.

Alex said...

I think the problem with pirates is that, though Disney tries to present it in a light-hearted manner, they take it seriously. Dead seriously. And so the film ends up taking itself seriously. So it becomes no fun, and all the money that should have gone into fun dialogue and clever pirate jokes got stolen away by fancy cgi and the salaries of overpaid actors who do nothing but look pretty when they remove their shirts to chew extra scenery.

Thus, we have to sit through such clever ending lines as: "No, he's a pirate!" belted out in the most vacuous valley-girl tone an english girl has ever managed. But this is only a single example (one that has stuck in my mind for the last few years, ever since the one and only time in my life I will ever view that film) of the absurdly bad writing and/or acting, with the exception of the god-like talents of Geoffrey Rush, who will never be able to remove the blight upon his career that these films represent!

When judging movies like this, the first question I ask myself is: "Would I watch this if it was made on a small budget?"

The answer for Pirates is a resounding "Hell no!" Thus, the quality of the movie comes down to two things - either A) the overpaid actors should be able to act, or B) the special effects and music should really immerse me into the world, or do something profoundly innovative.

Since we've all seen the film, we know the acting doesn't save it (far from). The special effects, pace, and music are pretty darned good. Not anything groundbreaking, but at least it distracts you from the writing and acting, so you don't feel insulted by the film until you leave the theater and run the dialogue over in you head.

And that, my friends, is the short version of why everyone of average intelligence or better should be insulted by films such as Pirates, Ghost Rider, and Fantastic Four. No substance, all flash.

(Oh, and to cover the Eragon question, I think it was a charming children's story, appropriately marketed as a family film. If they had tried to put it up against the LotR franchise, or market it as anything but a family film, then I would have been upset.)

Alex said...

Oh, and I have to say the last Potter film was as if it were from a different franchise altogether. The first ones were decent, but the last one to come out was good enough to watch multiple times.

I think it had something to do with the characters finally having some believable emotions without getting all histrionic on us. Maybe Ms. Rowling is growing as an author.

Fab said...

Ok, Alex, heard you loud and clear. I do agree that it would be very different if it was done on a smaller scale, with no celebrities and not liked to a major franchise.

I just like pirate movies. Ok, it's not exactly Eroll Flynn in Captain Blood, but ... I get your point.

Crunchy Carpets said...

I agree with you Alex....Movies like Pirates or so in your face 'LOOK AT MY FREAKIN AMAZING EFFECTS'

It is the Michael Bay school of filmmaking....over the top, loud, fast and blurry so you don't realize till the end as you get over your migraine that there was NO story.

They are pretty and if I didn't MIND spending 13 bucks for the heck of it...a fine way to waste an evening...but that is it..eye candy.

I think Spiderman will be good and dh and I are concerned that Transformers might actually be a good movie even though you don't see any robots till half way into the film.

I don't follow the Harry movies...I find them very disjointed and I guess you have to like the books to really get into them and I never did that either.

Alex said...

Oh, no. I wouldn't waste my brainpower reading a Harry Potter novel. It would be a heinous misappropriation of resources that will some day be quite valuable to the human race.

(And I'm modest, ladies. *ahem*)

Anyway, I can watch the 2 hour throw-away films because it's easy enough to justify a movie at the end of a productive evening. If I spent the 4-6 hours it would take to actually read a Harry Potter book, I would feel bad about wasting my time. I might even lose IQ points for my trouble.

I mean, I could re-read Dickens or Gaskell in the same amount of time. Well, not Middlemarch, but some of her shorter stuff. ha!

Spiderman beats the hell out of the Commonplace Quattro, because there are actual ethical considerations, ideologies at stake. They may almost be distilled into black and white situations, for the benefit of the viewing public who can only handle two options (i.e. Democrat or Republican) at a time. In the F-Four, there's no "almost." Bad guy versus good guys. $$$

SQT said...

That's why we love you Alex, your extreme modesty.

Actually, I love that you used the word "neener" in a previous post.

Alex said...

"Neener" is the ultimate taunt. Not only does it work on the playground as a child, but with educated adults (most of whom were picked on mercilessly in their own childhoods) it brings back deeply repressed memories of being taunted on the playground.

What more could you ask of a single word?

SolShine7 said...

It's all about Spiderman 3! Then Pirates 3 and I'm hoping that Fantastic 4, part two doesn't completely suck.