Thursday, March 15, 2007

Vintage Angelina Jolie

There are three type of cable movies: the ones you really want to see, the ones you never want to watch again and the ones you stumble across when you've eaten too much Taco Bell and you can't sleep. Cyborg 2 is one of the latter. I stumbled across it on the Sci Fi Channel late one night and paused to give it a chance because I vaguely remembered the first one with Jean-Claude Van Damme being good. I hadn't seen that one since the early nineties and all I could remember was Van Damme kicking butt (like only he can do). The sequel exchanges a buff Van Damme for a sensitive yet sultry Jolie. Cyborg 2 reminds me a low-budget version of The Island. It includes a not too distant future, an escape from an evil company and the two main characters spend a large portion of the movie being chased. Cyborg 2 is cheesy, no doubt about it. But for the sake of all things Angelina Jolie it was fun seeing her pre-Tomb Raider days. That got me to thinking, it's about time for her to do a new Sci-Fi movie. And one that doesn't have a "2" in the title. Let's see...maybe she could play the role of a woman with an extremely hot boyfriend who goes around the universe adopting poor orphan alien babies from different planets and basically ends up saving the world. Sound like a taker? You tell me.

14 comments:

Alex said...

Where'd the boobies go?

Praise the gods atop Olympus for silicon an saline!

SQT said...

Speaking as a woman, I don't think hers are fake. But sometimes it's hard to tell. I think they're just strapped down in that pic.

Anyway.

I like Angelina. I think she does make a good super-hero type. One of my all time favorite movie lines is from the first Tomb Raider. It's the morning after her house was demolished and a delivery guy walks up to her with a puzzled look on his face and very calmly she says..

"I woke up this morning and I just hated everything."

SolShine7 said...

sqt, LOL - that scene rocks! I also liked the one when she was out in the snow and she says "absolutely" with a British accent.

Stewart Sternberg said...

Alex, I'm going to ignore that blasphemy. As one who worships at the shrine of Jolie, as one who wants to bite off her lips and eat them...yummmy...I can only say that Angelina could stand still for an hour and smile on screen, and I would eat my popcorn and feel satisfied. If she runs...better. If she runs without clothes, I would pass out and wouldn't remember.

Thanks for posting that picture of Angelina..thanks for posting any pictutre of her.

Alex said...

What? I was being serious, Stewie Griffin. If boobs are anything bigger than a large-B/small-C, then I greatly prefer they be fake. Nobody actually liked those African ladies in National Geographic as adolescents - it's just that they were the only fully-formed breasts we were able to see without a whole lot of ingenious effort and a power drill.

Now kids have the internet. Envy.


SQT, she showed her boobs in a movie about a coven of witches (not "The Craft," but a similar storyline, and came out around the same time) and they were large, yes, but quite saggy. The ones she has now point directly to Zeus himself, and tellingly lack the jiggle factor.

As a man (the gender that spends the majority of their day thinking about such things), I have to say that if they are not fake, they have definitely had a few, shall we say, 'tune-ups.'

Alex said...

I was going to add that the lips are fake, too, to screw with Stew, but even I'm not that mean.

=)

SQT said...

Ahhh, a tune up so-to-speak, very possible I suppose. I just remember in Tomb Raider the jiggle factor made fake seem impossible-- at that time.

I had a family member have major issues with implants-- totally different discussion-- but the silicone made her very very ill. Her doctors don't even dispute that the implants caused the lupus and arthritis that she now suffers from (they found lumps of silicone embedded in her lymph glands). Sorry to take the fun out of the discussion, but I would never endanger my health for cosmetic reasons.

Irene said...

I love Angelina. =)

angela said...

Get the woman some chapstick.
She has chapped/flakey lips in almost every movie she's in. Ick.

crunchycarpets said...

Didn't she say in TR that they made her this bulllet proof bra?
I seem to remember that.

I do worry about the multi cultural von Trapp family she is creating.

SolShine7 said...

Angela, I thought it was the other way around, doesn't she always have too much lip gloss on?

There was a point when I was scared for Angelina when she was hugged up all tight around Billy Bob's neck like a baby bib. And then there was that whole blood vile thing...and kissing her brother at Oscars. But now, it finally seems like she's getting her life on track. I respect her for all her work with the UN. It seems like that's something she's genuinely interested in. I hope that she and Brad Pitt get married and live happily ever after.

Jean-Luc Picard said...

Is she touring all the countries picking up children?

Avery said...

I think she and Brad are building an Ark of some sort...

Or maybe a Benetton ad.

Alex said...

lol @ avery.

SQT: you know they use saline now, so all that happens if your booby bursts is that you get an insatiable thirst for a few hours.

Luckily the doc who did the lip work threw in a free bicycle pump and some seal-all, in case of a flat.