SUPERHEROES. Gotta love them. Guys and girls in tights, and in the case of some (Powergirl comes to mind), costumes designed to enhance some amazing asset. Okay. So they've got the power. They've got the charisma. They've got fame and fortune, and sometimes they have talented tailors. But what about weaknesses? Achilles had his tendon. Curly had an issue with lindburger cheese. Skipper had Gilligan.
As we face the middle of the week, let's pause and consider this a primer for supervillians. Below is a discussion of superheroes and their weaknesses.
SUPERMAN. Son of Krypton, an all around good guy. I recently interviewed Lex Luthor about him. "Guy's got a problem with remnants of his home planet," said the bald genius.
Luthor stopped me with a wave of his hand. "Doesn't make sense. I know, but that's Supes for ya. And then, of course, he's quite vulnerable to magic."
DAREDEVIL, a red suited blind vigilante who doubling as a lawyer during the day. Now let's see, what possible weakness could that lithe individual have? I asked Bullseye, a crazed assassin with bad skin: "Sound. Can't see. He uses sound to navigate. Like a bat. Loud sound can screw him up. Got a match? No..okay..yeah. Thanks."
THOR: God of Thunder. Blonde, tall, broad-shouldered, great smile. His half-brother, Loki, who now works as a union organizer in Jersey called me: "The hammer, idiot. That's where he gets his power from. Get the hammer and he's helpless."
IRONMAN: Tony Stark built the armor originally to deal with a heart issue. Jack Bauer, former aid to the Secretary of Defense, told me recently: "Ironman? Easy. Kill the armor, kill the playboy billionaire alcoholic within. All you need is an electromagnetic pulse. Now that I've told you that, I've got to kill you. After I torture you."
TORCH: The ambassador from Latveria recently contacted us: "The Torch? You mean that impudent Johnny Storm? Weakness? Why bother? Make him read a book. Okay, okay, quit bothering me. Use some common sense. The Torch can be extinguished by cutting off his oxygen supply. Now go away."
SPIDERMAN: I couldn't find any apparent weakness, so I spoke to Peter Parker's Aunt May. Parker apparently is a close friend of Spiderman. "I don't know much about him. I worry too much about Peter and he worries about me. He worries and worries..sometimes I think he cares too much about people and it affects his judgement."